Workshop Tuesday April 1

Workshop Material (Capstone)



A.I.R

For the longest time I used to tuck memories underneath my pillow.
There was a certain thrill in it,
a minute safety that only I could feel.
I never thought to open my soul and stuff them inside.
To let myself feel them.
They just collected,
like a growing mound beneath my head.
Until one day I realized—
that they were yours.
I was hoarding something that wasn’t even mine.
This distinction came from hard work.
It was not some glowing epiphany—
some cataclysmic realization.
There was no “zation.”
It was just real.
It’s real when you don’t know where you’ve been.
When you’re not sure who has which piece of you.
As much as I hate to admit it,
your piece is quite substantial.

And the thing is,
Where I used to put them under my pillow,
I have now thrown them into the air.
And though they roar and nip at my skin,
and although I may breathe them in,
they will never fully be a part of me.

They will always manipulate…always taunt.
They will Always Interfere with Reality.





Fades to Gray


I saw you the other day at a coffee shop.
You looked at me out of some momentary confusion…
as if you thought you recognized me.
But you didn’t.
I thought about the lake,
that glistening behemoth scrunched between rugged peaks,
when your flavored tortilla chips fell into the water.

The gray in your beard startled me.
I looked away for a second, then back again at your faded hair,
which used to be jet black.
Another feeling came over me,
and I couldn’t help but think that I survived 400 million sperm just to sit at this table across the restaurant from you.
This place.
My memories.
And you’re malice.
Like Three’s Company,
only this episode won’t make you laugh.
It will only pull the rug out from under you.

Black always turns to gray, doesn’t it?
Give it enough time, and it will.
It is inevitable.
Tragedy has befallen me.
I know that now.
I recollect a point in time when I was thirsty for your approval—
when I waiting aimlessly for that life-giving water…
that would never come.
I stood up and made my way towards the door,
yet I didn’t cast a fleeting glance behind me like I thought I should.
I left you alone…
thinking that I was a stranger.

Progress through Capstone

Ever since I first heard about the Capstone Project for the major, I've been going through what I would ultimately do in my head. I don't really care about the fact that I have to perform it...I just want to do justice to the four years I've spent in the program, and since I'm also graduating, in college as well. My project will focus on unconscious and conscious feelings and memories regarding my dad.

I started with a series of slam and sound poems, each one repetitive and fragmented, like our memories. One of them is called "Aluminum," which navigates some pretty treacherous waters. I then started working on a series of short stories, most of them one to two pages in length. They aren't necessarily flowing or methodical. They, like the poems, are uniquely discombobulated.

By the end, I'm hoping that this project will help me move on and grow as a person. The creative writing program helped my writing grow by leaps and bounds, no doubt about it, because my writing used to be very generic. I've mostly been writing late at night, and I have a lot of work still to do. I wish I can say that this project has gone swimmingly so far. That wouldn't be accurate, as it has been difficult. Maybe emotional would be the best word. I can only do a little at a time because of that, but I will make sure that I stay on course.

Repressed Feelings

Shaun Williams

Capstone Proposal

 For my capstone project, I think I’m going to dive into some uncharted waters. It will be very uncomfortable for me, but I want to challenge myself. Unless you attempt to do something out of your comfort level, you can never grow as a person.

For this project I’d like to dive into my repressed feelings toward my father. He and I have never had a relationship, and I would like to explore why. There is a lot of resolutions I need to make with myself, so why not use this particular project to do that? I have blocked out a lot of things and I have realized recently that I have a lot of residual anger, resentment, and discomfort. I’d like to explore that in detail. I figured that by the end of the project, I will feel more in control over my thoughts and feelings when it comes to him. I’d like to do a lot of “slam poems” about specific memories I have of him, which I thought would be very interesting.

I could also write some stories and get very creative with them. Throw some words around, change and alter some things, and get abstract in what I am saying. I don’t see my project being very cohesive, but rather, fragments of ideas, pains, and memories of the past. After all, most of our memories our broken or missing, and our unconscious mind is constantly filling in the gaps in our experiences. There are going to be MANY gaps in my project…many questions left unanswered. That is okay though. This has been a big year in my life. I finished my autobiography, started my art business, and will soon be graduating. I felt it was especially important to get a handle on how I really feel towards my father. I found out recently that he is moving to Chicago. He wasn’t man enough to tell us himself, of course, so I had to hear about it from one of his girlfriend’s Facebook posts. Maybe I could add that into my project. All in all, it will make for an intense creative ensemble!

Meaning?

Shaun Williams

CRTW Capstone

A Guide to Poetics Journal

Research Writing Piece

 

“The affirmations in the text may be made in such ways that they will need to be challenged. A reader who approaches such writing to put pieces together and figure out what the author means is likely to feel cheated, because the author’s intention is not to convey a whole statement that absorbs potential dialogue but rather to convey a framework of significations of urgency and coherence and interest in itself, for reading.

Identities, doubts, passions, recollections, dazed impressions, specific needs, criticism, awe, distraction, sensuality, and an urge towards the realization of understanding in a form still operate, at will.”

 

When I read translations, I poke around the words.

Not at them, guessing at a reality not hinted at

But encoded by some prisoner from another world—

Nobody’s perfect; but I relish the quest for the peculiar nature

Of some original writer, unknown to us

but through his function.

 ***Before I officially started this program, I was a total prescription writer…boring, bland, and obvious. 1+1=2…that was my writing style. That’s why the above passage from Poetics Journal speaks to me so much. It is basically saying that it is not only freeing to step outside the box and abolish old conventions, but totally necessary. The reader has to make up his or her own mind, whether the text is together or scrambled up into some abstract interpretation. In other words, interpretation is a must…so why not make the reader really try to find meaning? I wrote a poem that a reader would really have to dissect and put into pieces to get some kind of meaning from it. When I used to write poems, I would write them so that they totally made sense in a conversational way and that each line flowed clearly into the next. This piece is the opposite of that.

 

I write what I write so that you might know the difference

Between a pond and a river.

One flows through mediocrity…

Mountain sights you let me in on.

When I say “sea” you tell me “me!” How could you ever

Untangle an algorithm???

Breathless, flightless, fearless…that’s what my memory is.

Can’t stop the rushing river when it’s about to flood

With sugar and spice.

I write this so you will re-write it…so that you may wrap it around your dexterous finger.

This is a want within a want within a want within a hope.

Keep saying this until it is true.

 

Assignments

1. “Snap, Snap, and Share? A Nuanced Approach to Privacy and Online Photo-Sharing.”

I found the article stimulating, albeit very technical, and very practical to real life behavior. Since the invention of the first Kodak camera, things have really taken off in a social sense. It’s funny how any particular invention starts off as something but eventually becomes or produces something entirely different. The climate has changed drastically not only with the advent of the internet, but with the global popularity and insidiousness of social networking, and thus, file and photo-sharing. Photo sharing almost seems mundane now because it is so common. Most people will share a photo during the day in some way. I was amused when the two authors of the article brought up how people share physical photos with intimates in their homes, and still do today. Because while although they still might do that, that has kind of become obsolete. It makes me wonder just how many people actually share photo-albums with others. Everybody wants to see pictures over the internet now-a-days. Google, facebook, twitter, flicker, etc…

             The authors brought up interesting points when they shifted into digital inequality influences on privacy management online. The term “privacy management” seems a little superfluous and ambiguous to me, because my generation is far from private. They don’t care what they post or who will see it. They want attention, drama, and chaos. Especially with facebook—people post sexual and private photos of themselves or friends and cast them out into the world of cyber space. I bet George Eastman could have never even imagined that, much less seen it coming. But they bring up some good points. Technology ownership, number of hours users spend online, years of online use, and past consumption behaviors really affect privacy management in photo-sharing. All of those are elemental grounds for research.

It was interesting that digital media experience was a sample in their data and research among college students. Obviously one must need that kind of experience to navigate the treacherous online climate of networking and social media outlets. This is a relevant topic but I’m not sure I liked the poll that they did let alone their basis for study. A topic like this is very hard to study because it is always shifting and evolving. There are so many x-factors and variables associated with it, that it’s difficult to know where to begin.

 

2. Context for Dahlen        

             For this assignment I decided to utilize the three books that were sitting on my office desk. I wrote this using information from the first page of each one. The first book is called “Messages of Effusion” by Jack White. The other two are “Marketing,” by Hartley, and “Achieving Anything in Just One Year,” by Jason Harvey.

 Pick me up laces where others meet you. Effusion at Amazing Life Press. How can this be anything but ordinary? Set goals and stick with them, manual hints sprinkled about. Instructors get Jack White and Governor Rick Perry. They may not need that but I don’t give a damn. I give a dang…plain and simple.

Filtering students is tragic because self-improvement isn’t certified. Anybody can do it! After all, it does not take a genius. Learn to equip yourself with a happier life, which ultimately is the mystery of making it. The wind dissipates from your sails with buyer behavior. Golfers, pros, and amateurs experiment with justification…the founder of Limitless Institute. Somewhere in Seattle I would imagine??? I could be wrong, because I’ve been wrong many times before.

Copy, and paste…but don’t hate. Hate is for inspiration only. Like having a GPS in your marketing division. That is the company history.

What type of buying is associated with smart dust?

What will change in 365 days?

Who will become my personal coach in the arts?

Does black and white really equal Jason Harvey?

What is the fresh thought for ISBN delivery?

Am a making sense, or am I making context?

Context is the only reality that we have. Mutually agree?

Without context, there is no power.

Without power, there is no context.

Without AA batteries, there are no oil painters? Wait, that can’t be write, can it?

Play with the boundaries of your world and glue them around to make your point. Don’t settle for cohesiveness! Open yourself up to new possibilities. Because when I had the Malady of Fear, you can bet that I had personal success. Here is the secret to achieving anything in just one year—“The Big Bertha.” She will hold onto the hand rails for you and monitor the vital signs.

Which feature writer failed to buy an espresso machine? I don’t have the answer to that, but I might care more in ten years after I have woken up in the morning. The company and technology cannot be understood in an unfulfilling existence. Bearer of bad news can help you take the small steps to a better you.

 

Group Assignment

So my group met and we decided that we would write something using ONLY one-syllable words. And also, we agreed that our piece would be sound-related. I have never utilized that kind of prompt before, so it was very interesting, albeit limiting. However, it was limited in a good way. It really forced me to stretch the boundaries of word-usage, and also, flow. So here goes. We do not have a name.


Words hurt the most when they are soft...not loud
Like cracks in the brain that cease to leave me
Crack! Pop!!! Bones are cold and black
What is sound but a shard in the air? Bleak and wild

Love hurts the most when it is warm...not cold
A "thrack" on the head of bliss. The flight of a bird
Hear the wind it makes
It stirs and hits the air with force

Our bones hurt the most when they are used...not void of life
For this they bend near to our ears--
Mere caves on what we thought they were
One breaks, two more, hurt--
Turn to dust and ash
Noise is but a dream--not real, though it may seem
I can't sleep well in the night
When eyes can't see, sound has might
Take me on a dream in the light--
Though try I will I won't put up a fight
Fuck all of them, they can go fly a kite.
She screams in my brain
And it feels so right

I feel alright about it. Not great, of course, but it was a start. I'd be interested to see if somebody could write an entire book using only words with one syllable. That seems fascinating to me. I'm sure it could be done and make sense, but would it be truly effective? Would it be fun to read?

Creative Writing Experience

I am a straight-forward, traditional kind of writer. I enjoy stories and novels, and currently I'm finishing up a reflective memoir about my life and my journey as an artist. The creative writing program has challenged that tremendously. It has opened up my writing and made it more imaginative. In past classes our professors had us write. That was it. Just write. Don't think about what you were saying or how it was going to come across. They wanted us to regurgitate onto the paper. At first, I wasn't used to this. But with practice it became increasingly more comfortable. All in all, I'd say the program has helped me grow in a surrealist and expressionistic sense.

In one particular class I took...I believe it was called "Long Poem and Serial Works", we'd break apart very long hybrid poems together in class. Some of these poems were 20 pages long! That was probably the most difficult class. I had to stretch myself just to be able to get through it. I couldn't grasp the themes that the teacher wanted us to pull out of what we were doing. That happens when you try to do something you've never experienced before.

Genre, to me, is a classification of popular and understood themes. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, etc...everybody is going to think differently, but that is just how I think. My favorite genre is non-fiction, although I do enjoy Mitch Albom and J.M Coatzee's works of fiction. I prefer non-fiction because it is simple to grasp, relate to, and absorb. Maybe that makes me boring. So be it. I don't really care about that. I know a lot of other students read some interesting things, but that is what they prefer to do. We all read and write from our experiences, 100% of the time. Those that claim they don't do as well. There is no such thing as "out of your mind and body." Everything comes from within, whether we want it to or not. We can draw from external influences, but ultimately our subconscious always sneaks in.

I don't have much experience working in transgenre, or writings that blur the border between two genres. Such is why I am in this class. I wanted to expand my pallet, but I also wanted to work on my capstone project and get inspiration from others. I figured we should all work together.