Repressed Feelings

Shaun Williams

Capstone Proposal

 For my capstone project, I think I’m going to dive into some uncharted waters. It will be very uncomfortable for me, but I want to challenge myself. Unless you attempt to do something out of your comfort level, you can never grow as a person.

For this project I’d like to dive into my repressed feelings toward my father. He and I have never had a relationship, and I would like to explore why. There is a lot of resolutions I need to make with myself, so why not use this particular project to do that? I have blocked out a lot of things and I have realized recently that I have a lot of residual anger, resentment, and discomfort. I’d like to explore that in detail. I figured that by the end of the project, I will feel more in control over my thoughts and feelings when it comes to him. I’d like to do a lot of “slam poems” about specific memories I have of him, which I thought would be very interesting.

I could also write some stories and get very creative with them. Throw some words around, change and alter some things, and get abstract in what I am saying. I don’t see my project being very cohesive, but rather, fragments of ideas, pains, and memories of the past. After all, most of our memories our broken or missing, and our unconscious mind is constantly filling in the gaps in our experiences. There are going to be MANY gaps in my project…many questions left unanswered. That is okay though. This has been a big year in my life. I finished my autobiography, started my art business, and will soon be graduating. I felt it was especially important to get a handle on how I really feel towards my father. I found out recently that he is moving to Chicago. He wasn’t man enough to tell us himself, of course, so I had to hear about it from one of his girlfriend’s Facebook posts. Maybe I could add that into my project. All in all, it will make for an intense creative ensemble!